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Move Mountains. In this case, Boxes

Most people sleep after a long day, a day where they’ve accomplished most of the important to-dos and checked them off the list.

For the past two weeks, the only thing on my list was to check on myself mentally. Moving around NYC has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Not only because I’ve moved in 2021 a total of 4 times, one of which ended up with me in the hospital, but also because I realize that my home environment has everything to do with my inner PEACE.

They say circumstances can either make or break you, but I believe it just replaces what you’ve known and creates something new.

New is scary. New is uncomfortable. New is unexpected... Moving mountains is a common metaphor for overcoming challenges, but in this case, it's all about the boxes. The physical act of packing, lifting, and moving boxes may seem mundane, but it holds a deeper significance. It represents a transition, a shift from one chapter to another, and a chance to redefine oneself.

As I navigate through the complexities of relocation, I realize that this process goes beyond the mere act of moving. It becomes a reflection of my mental and emotional state. Each box represents a piece of my past, carefully packed away, while simultaneously making space for new beginnings. The repetitiveness of moving can be physically and mentally exhausting. Yet, it is during these moments that I truly discover what I'm made of. The resilience required to push through the discomfort and uncertainty is a testament to my inner strength.

College was the start of a balancing act. Being forced to dorm with a stranger, then forming friendships with those you got to know after your freshman year. It became crucial for me to ensure that peer influence wouldn't hinder the success of my undergraduate experience. I put "friends" in quotes because it remained uncertain if friends turned roommates would withstand the toughest times. Unfortunately, roommates never brought positive experiences for me. The inconsistencies between individuals, their living habits, sleep schedules, and consumption styles leave lasting imprints, whether welcomed or not. We all carry our share of horror stories.

For me, 2021 hit the hardest. It was the year I started my journey as an actor. Finally allowing myself to follow a passion of mine I had since I was 5. My solo debut in the school choir ignited a fire in me. As one young Asian girl trying to find her identity in the less than 1% of representation in her school, I found solace in performing. It was my way to express myself beyond the daily comments made about my appearance. I moved back to NY after 2 years of working in corporate while managing a freelance marketing consulting business on the side and found modeling along the way. Modeling helped me to build confidence in my adulthood. In a way it was a constant reminder to myself that I was still capable of performing. Through the interconnected network of the industry, I discovered a profound love for acting—not the kind I experienced during my Theatre days or through singing operatic choir music. On camera, I channeled the vast emotions stemming from my tumultuous career and interpersonal relationships. I streamlined the diverse skills acquired in school, leveraging them to stand independently. I devoted all my available time, funneling it away from a 9-5 job and into my long-awaited dream—a life I had yearned for since I was young.

Fast forward to my adulthood where I was given not only the freedom to choose where I live, but most importantly who I could live with. It was then I realized, it wasn't about the flexibility of making those decisions by myself. But navigating a newfound relationship with yet another stranger that didn't take away from my main objective. Unfortunately, life rarely unfolds as planned. As I mentioned earlier, I ended up in the hospital because common ground can often be confused and boundaries tend to overlap when you live with someone. Genuine actions aimed at benefiting one another don't always convey their intended meaning. And trying to see the good in people can sometimes leave you stripped of all the progress you made in yourself. That's what happened. I got too close to a roommate of mine and through an act of standing up for myself, I was stripped of everything. My new home, my peace, and my identity. Once again, I was forced to rebuild a foundation I had worked so hard towards.

In this fast-paced city of New York, where chaos and serenity coexist, finding peace within the four walls of my new home becomes paramount. The ambiance, the energy, and the aura all contribute to my overall well-being. I'm striving to create an environment conducive to personal growth and self-reflection. By embracing the unfamiliarity, I can reinvent myself and elevate my artistry to new heights. It's a chance to break free from the constraints of the past and step into uncharted territories of inspiration.

In these challenging times, we are all compelled to make sacrifices and adapt to our circumstances. But let us not merely settle for adapting; let us strive for something greater. Let's infuse every aspect of our lives with a sense of euphoria and create a new reality that resonates with our true selves. One circumstance or a series a similar obstacles may lead to feeling defeated. But this is a testiment to prove it doesn't always have to mean the end.

So as I pack these boxes reflecting on my own self-discovery and growth. I challenge you to also embrace the discomfort, and the unexpected, knowing that within these trials lie the seeds of personal evolution. Let's move mountains, one box at a time, and build a new foundation of fulfillment and joy. Together, let's make this new chapter of our lives truly euphoric.


Esther Hong Headshot 2.jpeg

New York City bound full-time Actor here to give you insights into the industry, connect with likeminded creatives,

and share stories. 

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